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The Essential Episode Guide to

Star Trek The Next Generation


SPOILER ALERT: There are spoilers throughout. You should have seen all of these episodes already anyway O_o


 

Season Seven

Episode 153  "Descent, Part II"
*sniff* /me wipes away a tear. ...Lore.... =`(
i'll miss you, dear one.

 

 

Everyone wants a shot at the Big Chair!

 

Crusher and her medical crew launch a successful coup on the Enterprise.

 

 

Episode 154  "Liaisons"
Picard crashes onto a planet and is held hostage by a loving woman. Worf serves as a tour guide for an ambassador on the Enterprise.

 

A disagreement during a poker match. Notice that Riker is stealing chips from the ambassador.

Episode 155  "Interface"
Geordi's mom returns from Hell to torment her son. Poor Geordi!

 

 

 

Episode 156  "Gambit, Part I"

Riker sends the crew on a mission to find "just the perfect rock" to prop his leg up on.

 

"Commander, the eighth tricorder reading still shows that the rock is 304.8 millimeters tall at the point where it connects to your heel."

"Laforge, I don't care what that thing says. Scan it again. It's not a millimeter over 303. Dammit all! Fine. Just haul some more rocks over here until we find a good one."


Does he simply hate ALL aliens? i don't know. What i do know is that the Federation doesn't encourage slamming people against walls to enlist their cooperation.

Episode 157  "Gambit, Part II"
Riker and Picard join the Mad Max Mullet Gang (pictured below). However, Picard had joined it only to infiltrate it...

 

Picard: "Pssst...Will, what are you doing? Why are you shooting?"

Riker's killing spree begins with Lunchbox Man.

The doctor looks concernedly at Worf being shot.

The doctor does the robot once again. Will is unimpressed and shows his displeasure.

Yeah, try to shoot Picard in the head...nice.

Episode 158  "Phantasms"
Data experiences dreams. And they are FUCKED.

 

"Counselor, it appears you have finally found a use on this ship."

 

 

Wow, i'm not the only one that has this dream!

Episode 159  "Dark Page"
Lwaxana goes into a coma, but comes out of it....but i suppose this is the finest episode for Lwaxana Troi. There, happy? i finally said something good about her.

Episode 160  "Attached"
The first part of this episode review is courtesy of startrek.com:

 

"Picard and Beverly prepare to look into a diplomatic request from the Kes, one of the planet Kesprytt's two societies, who wants entrance into the Federation. This is unprecedented because the planet's other society, the Prytt, has no contact with its neighbors or anyone else. Worf attempts to transport Beverly and Picard to the Kes, but they do not arrive there. Instead, they end up in a Prytt prison cell, where they realize they both have strange electronic devices implanted in their necks. Minister Lorin of the Prytt informs Picard and Beverly that they are being held because of suspected conspiracy with the Kes, and that the devices in their necks will soon reveal the truth. Back on the U.S.S. Enterprise, Riker sets up a meeting with Kes Ambassador Mauric to address the abduction. Meanwhile, Beverly mysteriously receives her tricorder hidden in a tray of food. She notices that a map has been added to her directory and, sensing it may come from the Kes, she and Picard use it to make their escape. Riker, Worf, and Troi meet with Ambassador Mauric, who tells them that since they have no formal relations with the Prytt, their best option is to insert a rescue team into the Prytt capital city. Riker first wants to try a friendlier method, but he allows Mauric to set up operations on the Enterprise. Meanwhile, Picard and Beverly follow the tricorder map through a maze of caverns where fireballs explode around them. They manage to elude the assault and continue through the caves. Back on the Bridge, Riker is contacted by Lorin, who refuses to discuss Picard and Beverly and threatens an attack if Riker does not cease communications with the Prytt. Riker is at a loss until Mauric informs him that Picard and Beverly have been released by a Kes operative and are on their way to the Kes border. Riker is disturbed that the rendezvous will happen in a public place, but Mauric reassures him. Meanwhile, Picard and Beverly, who are still following the map, realize that the implants in their necks allow them to read each other's thoughts — whether they want to or not. When they separate to regain a little privacy, both are hit with a wave of nausea that renders them incapable of being apart. The next day, Picard and Beverly continue their trek, reading each other's thoughts the whole way. When two Prytt troopers suddenly appear in their path, they decide to backtrack to ensure their safety. Mauric soon learns that the pair have not arrived at their destination, and summons Riker and Worf to angrily accuse them of conspiring with the Prytt. Riker assures him that this is not the case, but Mauric insists on leaving the Enterprise. Later, Picard and Beverly stop to rest for the night. Still able to hear each other's thoughts, they realize that there is not only a strong attraction between them — but Picard was once in love with Beverly. Determined to prove Mauric wrong and save his crewmates, Riker transports Minister Lorin aboard the ship against her will. He then sits down with Mauric and Lorin, but neither seems to care about Picard and Beverly. Instead, each of his "guests" is suspicious of the other, sure that the enemy society is banding with the Federation against them. Disgusted, Riker tells Mauric that, based on what he has seen, the Kes will be denied entrance into the Federation. He then tells Lorin that if Picard and Beverly are not returned, her insular society will be invaded by Starfleet investigators. At that moment, Picard and Beverly arrive at the Kes border and, while Picard makes it across, Beverly is caught by Prytt security forces. Her captors hail Lorin, who orders both Beverly and Picard to be transported back to the Enterprise. Safe at home, Picard and Beverly have the implants removed and share a dinner without reading each other's minds. Picard suggests that, given what they know, they should pursue their relationship. But Beverly tells him she is not yet ready, and the two agree to remain friends — at least for now."

 

Now, my review!

 

Ok, that being said....ponder for a moment: During one of the first scenes Picard and Crusher were in jail because they were being held due to suspicion of conspiracy of working with the Kes. So, what if they would have simply waited there like law-abiding citizens? The Prytt would have questioned them and used the telepathy devices and discovered the truth that Picard and Crusher were innocent. Here, let me direct this episode in two scenes.

 

In jail, about to face questioning and the mind reading.

 

Picard and Crusher, cleared of all charges, return to the Enterprise in time for dinner.

 

 

i guess a 40 second episode wouldn't be all that thrilling though, would it?

 

Episode 161  "Force of Nature"
A pair of scientists insist that warp drive is putting pot holes in space. Riker once again proves he's a racist...

 

"You know, I hate Ferengi more than I hate Bajorans...and women."

Episode 162  "Inheritance"
Data meets his mom.

Episode 163  "Parallels"
Worf takes 9th place in a batleth tournament. His anger tears open a fissure in space causing multiple realities to merge.

 

"Form up and set course for Romulus."

Episode 164  "The Pegasus"
Riker, with the help of his old captain (Admiral Pressman), flaunt their phase cloak and break the Treaty of Algeron, thus earning a reserved room at the brig for you-know-who.
Admiral Pressman was promptly thrown out an airlock by Lt. Roslin.

"I brought you a harmonica to play. I'm sorry the guard phasered your trombone, but I can't say that I blame him, Number One."

Episode 165  "Homeward"
Q returns and sends the crew back to the times of King Arthur on the quest for the Holy Grail.

"Your quest, Microbrain, is to find the Grail."

Ok, maybe the episode isn't about Q. You caught me....

...but Kasidy Yates is pregnant with Worf's foster brother's baby.

Episode 166  "Sub Rosa"
ZOINKS! This place is like haunted! A g-g-g-ghost!

 

"Zombie! RUN!"

 

 

The episode lost some scariness when a mixup happened at Paramount, which the editors somehow missed.

"D'ya think ya can poin' me in th' direction of the Rob Roy set, lassie?"

Episode 167  "Lower Decks"
Riker belittles two junior officers -- one a Bajoran woman (no surprise there) and a command officer much like himself.
Troi realizes this (even without her Betazoid skills) and calls Riker on it.

 

"Is that the best you can do, Riker? If I wanted a kiss, I would have called your Mother.'"

 

 

The finest specimen of the Bajoran race :)

 

So cute.

 

 

 

Episode 168  "Thine Own Self"
Data gets formatted by an overzealous tech support officer. Data wanders around on a planet, spreading radiactive rocks wherever he goes until a mob with pitchforks, torches, and pickaxes chases him out of town.

"Iceman, you need to get the fuck out of town."

 

The other plot in this episode is Troi deciding to apply for the rank of commander (groan).

Having Dr. Crusher in command is all and good, but Counselor Troi? Oh, please. i can only suspend my disbelief so far.

She takes the Bridge Officer's Test and fails a few times. As it turns out, the only way for her to succeed is to send a crewman to his/her death. And who is this crewman you may wonder? It's Geordi, of course. That's right; even in a computer simulation, Geordi gets the short end of the stick. To get her promotion, Troi sends Geordi to his death. In other words, she's rewarded for killing poor Geordi.

(thanks, Jon Nauss)

Episode 169  "Masks"
An alien computer starts to turn the Enterprise into an ancient Mayan Temple and makes Data go crazy.

 

 

"Mr. Data, might I remind you that is a warp core, not a privy."

Episode 170  "Eye of the Beholder"
An empath is part of this episode so you can expect to see a lot of Troi. You can also expect to be bored out of your skull. Oh, and Troi kills Worf.

 

 

You're definitely not going to Sto'vo'kor for being killed by a ship's counselor...and Counselor Troi at that.

Episode 171  "Genesis"
The crew de-evolves into cavemen, monkeys, and....

 

...spiders?

 

i thought the idea was preposterous at first until i did some research...

Oh.

 

 

Jonathan Frakes sits down in the makeup chair, ready to start the usual 6 hour transformation process.

"Frakes, let's keep it clean. There are children watching this."

Episode 172  "Journey's End"
Bad pennies always return, they say.

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

However, this is the last we see of The Boy until Star Trek: Nemesis. YAY! :D

 

"Goodbye, Wesley. We'll miss you. No, wait that's not correct. Bye, Wes, we'll miss you. No, still not right...Get out of my sight you waste of space! Ensign, lock transporter coordinates on vacuum and beam The Boy there. "

Episode 173  "Firstborn"
Alexander...aww shit. What did i do to deserve an episode of Wesley and then Alexander?
At least Quark was in this episode :)

 

Namtar or whatever he called himself (Alexander all growed up). Even Alexander wants to kill Alexander.

Episode 174  "Bloodlines"
Daimon Bok plots to take revenge on Picard by killing the man who isn't actually Picard's son.

"Bok, That's not my son. That's Jim Carey. Go ahead and kill him."

Episode 175  "Emergence"
The holodeck computer has grown bored of giving life to fictional characters out of photons and has now decided to take control of the Enterprise to give birth to a being made of vertion particles. In this episode, Data is nearly run over by a taxi. Amazingly, this is foreshadowing for the future...

 

7/5/06: an out of work Brent Spiner sadly puts on his old Data costume and tries to hail a taxi cab in L.A.

Episode 176  "Preemptive Strike"
Ro returns to the Enterprise. Hearing there is more action to be had elsewhere, she decides to leave Starfleet for the Colonial Navy. She quickly works her way up the command ladder to admiral rank.

Episode 177 &178  "All Good Things..."
A truly wonderful episode. Even i don't have any sarcastic remarks....or do i? Well...Riker did admit to cheating at poker.

 

Worf: "Four hands in a row. How does he do it?"

Riker: "I cheat."

O_o These are direct quotes; Exhibit A: Click here to listen to the sound file: i_cheat.wav

 

 

 

Wait a second...that makes complete sense. Think about it. Riker and Troi are a pair...i'm sure they're in cahoots. And Troi is Betazoid, meaning she can tell when people are lying or BLUFFING!

 

Here we see Riker's future husband, Deanna Troi, trying her "luck" at cards.

"I'm sensing...err i mean, I think...yeah think you're bluffing, so I'm going to raise you fifty."

 

 

 

Riker sees Troi's sign for "all in." Meanwhile Geordi is seeing through the cards anyways.


 

 

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