The Essential Episode Guide to
Star Trek The Next Generation
SPOILER ALERT: There are spoilers throughout. You should have seen all of these episodes already anyways O_o
Episode 49 "The Ensigns of Command"
Episode 50 "Evolution"
Episode 51 "The Survivors"
"AAAH! I'm under attack. Medical emergency. Riker to Enterprise -- emergency beamout now!"
"It's alright, Will. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not like that was the oldest trick in the book or anything..."
Episode 52 "Who Watches the Watchers?"
"Ohhh, my head. Is it bleeding? No, please don't gag mmmmmmmph mmph."
Episode 53 "The Bonding"
Episode 54 "Booby Trap"
"Sir, the ship was crewed by a race of skeletons!"
Episode 55 "The Enemy"
Episode 56 "The Price"
"Yes, ambassador, I realize that my head looks like someone sat on it...it was your mom."
"No taxation without representation!"
Riker and his girlfriend, Yuta. i won't comment on the fact that he's actually aiming at her head. What a nice guy.
"What?! You're still alive? Well, i'll just have to turn it up to 'disintegrate mode!'"
You couldn't have just shot her on stun? Or maybe, i don't know, told her that you just couldn't see her anymore? O_o
Episode 58 "The Defector"
G'Kar...you grew hair and lost your spots...
Basically this episode was like watching Universal Soldier in a condensed form without Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Zephram Cochrane is the mayor of Universal Soldiertown?!
Riker holds an Angosian down while Worf beats him
Episode 60 "The High Ground"
Episode 61 "Deja Q"
"Romulan!" ....ah, classic :)
Episode 62 "A Matter of Perspective"
Riker kissing Apgar's wife. All parties agree on this part.
Here's where the different versions appear:
"So the old bastard saw what he shouldn't have. And POW!"
"You just got owned, old man."
Everyone else's version (The Truth):
Following the kiss...
Dr. Apgar dodges an insidious blow that would have splattered his brains against the wall...
...and returns the favor with a punch to the kidneys
"Work the body, Ap," his wife cheers him on.
"He's got a glass jaw, finish him off!"
"Look at that follow-through! Way to go, champ!"
Dr. Apgar knocks Riker on his self-righteous ass. Hell yeah, the good doctor is putting on a clinic.
"Yeah, I'll do that. Riker to Enterprise -- one to beam up."
"Oh, before I forget...have THIS!"
"Dead men tell no tales, old man!"
Rest in peace, Dr. Apgar.
For petty revenge, Riker not only kills Dr. Apgar, but he blows up a Federation outpost, which, allow me to quote from the Starfleet Technical Database, has a crew complement breakdown as follows:
2700. Twenty-seven HUNDRED lives lost. What a horrible loss of life, just to get back at an old man. Let's not forget that the Federation has now lost all data concerning Kreeger waves. Way to go, Riker. Oh, by the way, take another shot....and drink one for our fallen comrade, Dr. Apgar.
"I eat pieces of shit bigger than Klingons for breakfast."
Episode 64 "The Offspring"
Episode 65 "Sins of the Father"
Best friends sharing a meal. Riker still hasn't quite figured out how to use a chair.
Episode 66 "Allegiance"
The only food the kidnappers provide is urinal cakes.
Episode 67 "Captain's Holiday"
Picard browbeats Rom.
Episode 68 "Tin Man"
It's either a glowing pine cone or a flying woodtick, but that name wouldn't sound as cool as "Tin Man" though.
Episode 69 "Hollow Pursuits"
Mini Riker! To defeat him, Will has to cheat and have the computer erase the character.
Episode 70 "The Most Toys"
Episode 71 "Sarek"
Wesley hits Geordi. i believe that's punishable by court martial...or at least punishable by a good beatdown. Unfortunately, Riker shows up and saves his best friend, Wesley, before Geordi destroys him.
Episode 72 "Menage a Troi"
"Oh, shut up, Riker."
Episode 73 "Transfigurations"
The doctor and the nurse check out the package.
"Mr. Berman, are you sure my special boy is ok?
Episode 74 "The Best of Both Worlds, Part I"
Ah, the Borg as the galaxy's badasses. The Borg kidnap Picard so you can have a reason to have another drink. Forget the bullshit that Voyager would have us believe. A Federation fleet destroyed at Wolf 359, yet a single planetary explorer can take it to the Borg....in the heart of Borg space no less.
Wait, what's this? Has Riker met his match in a power-mad egomaniacal Lt. Shelby?
Continue to Season 4 to find out!
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