Thoughts of the Daze Archive 6
Worst. Mustache. Ever.
Soooo, what if you have erections lasting for more than 4 hours and you're not taking Viagra? ;)
Ladies, you can reach me at 555-763-1334.
12/1/12 - Rosa Parks Day
Today we recognize civil rights activist Rosa Parks -- the first person to stand up for her rights by sitting down.
i need a new job...and a sweet, sweet ride.
And here i was about to make some snarky remark about Homeland Security. Never mind.
-- submitted by Buggsy.
The only thing worse than a con man is a dumb con man.
Don’t waste my time unless you have TWO of the rarest game pieces! Oh and don’t waste my time unless you live in Wisconsin. I’m not traveling more than a couple hours for a million dollars.
-- submitted by Buggsy.
She definitely holds the record for the biggest female mustache.
For some reason, he doesn't strike me as a homeowner.
i can't help but notice how many Jesus and cross tattoos there are out there. Why aren't there more Jewish tattoos out there? (Yes, i've read Leviticus ;)
Wouldn't this be a fuckin' sweet tat? Maybe something like this Moses on your chest or back?
Shit yeah, son!
In England, is the movie, RoboCop, called RoboBobby? And if so, does the protagonist not carry a gun?
This brings a whole new meaning to the Presidential race.
Mostly, my critical thinking skills are used for analyzing irrelevant things.
Seemingly irrelevant, rather. This is obviously very important stuff i delve into under the picture of the cartoon duck.
So, Glomgold -- why do you have a beard? You're a duck, right? Since when do birds grow hair? Never mind the fact you're wearing clothes and speaking English, i want to know what is up with the beard.
Nothing says "elegant" more than "fuck me."
i made the unfortunate realization/hypothesis that unfortunately most people only care about NASA like they do Nascar -- they are only interested in the crashes.
Desperate sex for goods?
I do believe this person is trying to acquire sexual favors in exchange for a 12 year old laptop.
-- submitted by Buggsy.
So, i wonder: would a lie detector test pick up on a "lie" if you're being sarcastic about an answer? i mean, you don't literally believe what you are saying, so you aren't lying, right? i wonder if the test would be able to catch that.
A subtle clue?
Is Sherwin Williams planning on taking over the world?
Even if they're not, i'm not so sure the planet needs to be covered in paint.
Wizards, you think you're being funny or cute when you call us muggles, but you're being hurtful. To paraphrase Kevin Murphy, referring to an entire group of people in a derogatory fashion in a single word is racist. Why don't you just call us miggers instead of muggles?
Clearly, it is no coincidence that "wizard" is a rank in the KKK.
Obama is a lot of things.
...but a cactus?
Thanks to Adam Awesome for contributing this.
From the FBI.
Looks legit to me.
i should've been a cop.
i really should have been a cop.
Sweet rides. i'd only feel slightly ridiculous riding into battle on one of those.
Why is the peep shopping at a Just Porn store?
More Space news.
i'd like to print a bit of a retraction. The last Thoughts of the Daze inferred that the Miss Universe pageant news was not space news at all. This is not entirely correct. The Miss Universe contestant was discovered to have been born a boy...about a week before the event. One week old and already full grown and as a female, no less. Clearly, this contestant was born on another planet. Good space news. Carry on.
Space news, eh?
i must also say it's unfair that Miss Horsehead Nebula was disqualified for drug allegations.
Since when do drummers get the chicks?
License and registration, please.
Not only is he parked there, he had to drive the wrong way in the angled parking lot to get there.
Random ad generator is random.
And the connection between Wisconsin and a buff woman is what again?
Insert "Your mom" joke here.
How does that headline pass anyone's inspection? i know i have the mind of a juvenile, but come on!
But how do we know that's them?
And i'm not sure how the mouse clicked on the link for that news story. It must have glitched. Yeah.
Do you have the right Jack?
...ok. i've been staring at this ad for 5 minutes now and i still don't know what the hell the connection is between Jack Sparrow and a sniper rifle. i give up.
What. The. Fuck.
i had to double check to make sure i wasn't reading The Onion.
Note to self: stop reading Yahoo news.
Well, i'd say the first mistake is not using your hands to play the guitar. You work up to playing with your teeth after years of practice.
As the Grammar Nazi, i am obligated to point out that you need to change "either" to "any."
Oh no. What did i just do to my body?
No results? Thanks for nothing, WebMD!
Thanks to Andy B. for the inspiration for this.
Not only is it fake, its gross!
Cambridge scientists need to work on their photoshop skills.
Bernanke the beast!
i never realized Ben Bernanke was so ripped! Wow.
Or is he wearing a shirt with a picture of a human torso on it?
A Christmas Carol...from HELL!
Check out the price...
"i've seen a lot of years. Kind of..."
Notice the default age. The years have not been kind to that guy.
Also, why is there a picture of an old man for the ad? Why not a picture of a house?
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