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Thoughts of the Daze Archive 5


Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one?

i have never seen an STD used as a promotion before.

What better way to remember your anniversary than by contracting an STD?

Oh, and they do birthday parties. That's good for the kiddies.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope you like VD!

Wait, and you were voted "Best Of" by some publication?





Wait, how did you get there?


Punctuation saves lives.

i'm assuming he doesn't tell his son that he's about to be hunted when they go on this hunting expedition.

Contributed by Buggsy.



What the hell are you guys working on?

i knew i should have been an astronaut! Or should i say, "asstronaut"?

Or maybe NASA is building Cylons!

Thanks for Adam Awesome for finding this one.



Lying is bad for your health.

Here's a thought -- don't lie to your doctor! O_o



Here, let me fix that for you with a pair of commas. Another acceptable (and sexy) solution is to use a dash instead of the first comma.

Umm, no i wasn't taking pictures while i was driving ;)


Google antics.

i have to say i'm shocked this is the FIRST result that Google picks. Secondly, who wonders if there's ever been a zombie outbreak? This surprised me so much that i couldn't even remember what i was going to search for.


What amazing deals!

Or rather, "What amazing deals?"

How about this one?

So, i buy it for $38.16 and if i sell it back, i'll make OVER 8 cents per movie.


Bimbo bread.

i have discovered the joys of Bimbo bread. i love the pleading appeal of "Say 'Beembo!'"

i'm picturing the founder of this company saying " It's not BIMBO, please say BEEMBO! Please!"




Sesame Street property values plummet.

Hungry Muppet to appear on "Sesame Street"
A new poverty-stricken Muppet will highlight the issue of hunger struggles on an episode of "Sesame Street", the show said in a statement on Tuesday.

Quoted from:

i thought they already had a poor, hungry muppet.

Ah, yes. Now, let's watch some Dave Chappelle.



Because real minivans are too hard to come by. So, instead they brainstorm, blueprint, and manufacture fake minivans (while paying people and buying equipment every step of the way). Excellent use of resources. Brilliant. You're fired.

Also, this isn't NEWS! It's an advertisement! :(

Update: after further reading, i discovered it took the research team three years to come up with that design. A team. Three years. Money well spent.



Are you smarter than a Fox television executive?

i was thinking about this show and i thought they should have some spinoffs (which would, of course, be more interesting than that show). Sure, maybe 5th graders are smarter than i am, but guess what -- i'm stronger than they are. Are You Stronger Than A 5th Grader? coming this fall to Fox! It would be hosted by Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal. Better yet, let's get Arnold and we can tie in the Kindergarten Cop vibe!

Or, going with the original intent of testing intellect, how about -- Are You Smarter Than A NASA Rocket Scientist?



The first Star Wars war was known as "Star War." They never thought there would be another.

You might want to put an "ing" after Conquer :-| i think the data miners even wrote the ad. Also, correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think the starship Enterprise is from Star Wars O_o



Please open attached virus


From British High Commission? i better open this. It sounds important!

Nice try.



Mortgage Pig Chef

i'm not entirely sure what a cooking pig has to do with Obama's mortgage relief plan.



Battlestar Defiant

You're doing it wrong!



Upon further reflection.


You should probably put some clothes on when you take pictures of reflective surfaces. Personally, i would have put "i need money to buy a shirt so i am selling this" in the ad. Also, "three keys on the keyboard [are] missing"? Which keys? Ones you don't use like scroll lock or the letter N? How may times do you use that butto, really? o big loss.

-- thanks to Buggsy for this one.


Selfless SoCal motorists.

Umm, isn't the "ultimate sacrifice" giving up one's own life? Well, thank you, fellow motorists for dying for the cause so that we can avoid any traffic snarls.



How do you like it?

i thought of window decal or bumper sticker to tell the haters how you feel about their window decal or bumper sticker. Insert whatever team/car/etc. in place of Jeep to customize to your needs.



Facebook's recommendations.

i'm not sure i see the connection...



"Serious enquiries only" can you be serious at all about this? i couldn't even prank call her and maintain a straight face.


Sometimes the Facebook news feed comes up with interesting results.



Blobfish community files class action lawsuit against Ziggy.

The resemblance is uncanny!


Passing the savings onto to customers.

Save up to 90%, or pay an average of 2500% markup over retail. Somehow, i just don't think this is a good deal. -- submitted by Buggsy.


From the Hollywood archives.

i have discovered an unreleased Iron Man 2 movie poster! The original title was Iron Man 2: I Want My Bird. i think they should have kept that as it encompasses the struggle, compassion, and determination that defines the character of Whiplash.



In the wake of the Grammy Awards.



Another sequel.

i could make a million of these classics sequels ;)



Due for a sequel.

After discovering there is a sequel to Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye written by someone who isn't J.D. Salinger, i realized the possibilities are endless.


Coming soon to a theater near you in summer of 1978...

The Littlest Giant, starring Wilt Chamberlain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Andre the Giant.

-- submitted by Buggsy


Kayaking? Guess not.

i was going to type in "kayaking" but i paused as i started typing and this came up. i enjoy that this is the first result that appeared.




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