Thoughts of the Daze Archive 3
So, i have come up with a saying that you should feel free to use. It's perfect for the season. Ready for it?
"That's lamer than Tiny Tim!"
Yeah, i know. Isn't that awesome? You're probably thinking "Oh my gods, that's really offensive." But it's not since Tiny Tim wasn't real, it's okay. So fire away with impunity!
Playing outside linebacker -- Bambi!
Sign that deer up for __your team name here__ !
Brilliant writing and editing...
*groan* "Wis. man 'shots' big buck"? At least some other user noticed the error. Too bad neither the writer nor editor caught it. Way to be professionals.
Take your head out of the sand, Senator Baucus.
Let me send a message to you, Mr. Baucus:
Dear Max Baucus,
The health care system is broken and does need fixing.
45.7 million uninsured Americans
Vulcan -- it's what's for dinner!
Catholics have their fish fries on Friday nights, and logical atheists have their fried Vulcan on Saturdays.
- Thank you to Buggsy for this TotD.
John "Danny" Olivas. Maybe i'm the only one in the dark here, but i've always wondered how someone ends up with a nickname like that. His name is John Olivas. His nickname is Danny. Nowhere do you see a "dan" anywhere in his name. So how...?
i wish you could see the perplexed look on my face. Here is a rough estimation: :-\
i'm curious how these pilots rescued these unwanted pets. Are people launching cats and dogs with catapults and the pilots grab them with some sort of big net while they're flying?
Believe it or not, this is not from The Onion. i was thinking about clicking on this, but i can't imagine blocks doing anything to help in a positive manner.
i was checking out a facebook application and this rather unexpected question came up:
First of all, i'm not sure how he'd watch that movie. Second, yes, i am friends with Gaius Baltar on facebook.
An Amish plot is afoot!
....wait.....does not compute.....but Amish people don't use computers...soooo how are they going to see this ad?
Unless this was a trick by real Amish people who are using this ad to sniff out any Amish people who use technology, and thus need to be removed from the Amish community. The ones who came up with the ad idea would, of course, be required to have other people go online for them and make the ad, or they themselves would be thrown out of the Amish community, of course.
(ad submitted by Buggsy).
Ignorance, part 2.
i can't help but notice spelling errors whenever i see them since i'm an English major....and i can't help but notice that 99% of all Facebook quizzes have spelling errors such as this one:
i was going to pick that until i saw how "ignorance" was spelled. How terrible when it's in a sentence about knowledge.
Here's another application i saw today:
Come on, people! That's an easy one!
Wow....where to even start on this can of worms? Maybe i'll start with "Tell me how it's NOT a right and how it should only be a privelege of the elites." Or maybe i'll ask what would someone, say, John McCain do without having government health care? All those surgeries and hospital visits racking up debt...or Sarah Palin with her pregnancies and health care for her family...what if she couldn't afford insurance? Think about it.
Or maybe i should point out how police and fire coverage is certainly a right, is it not? Is it in the Constitution? Nope. Or how about gun ownership? If that's a right (as it should be), then how is it that health care isn't?
There's nothing more basic than the right to live....or, if you prefer, the right to-not-get-sick-and-not-be-able-to-afford-to-go-to-the-doctor-or-not-able-to-get-insurance-coverage-and-die-in-a-supposedly-civilized-country-that-values-human-life-less-than-money.
Germany has had a universal health care system since 1883. Universal health care is implemented in all industrialized countries, with the exception of the United States. It is also provided in many developing countries.
Oh, the military and their crazy experimental weapons.
Wait, haven't i seen this somewhere before already? ....
Yeah...someone put a tiny camera on a butterfly's head...who was it again that did that?
Oh yeah, the Monarch. Someone we'd really trust to come up with ingenious devices O_o
So, i came across this webpage while looking at the city of Racine's webpage (don't ask).
OMG!11 pls send help immediately. i am being beaten up lol!!1 :O kthxbye
A conversation with God.
Try it yourself at: http://www.titane.ca/igod/
Here is the conversation between dontthink and God:
An expert political analysis.
Let me save you 10 minutes of reading the article by summing up why Coleman lost to Franken in three words....
He's a Republican.
Or if you prefer, i can give you the multiple choice version:
A) Coleman a Republican.
B) Bush is a Republican.
C) Following the Bush administration, this nation is a toxic environment for Republicans.
D) All of the above.
If you get this question wrong, you may be a Republican.
Jesus H. Christ! Are you trying to scare kids to death now, Disney? ...i'm not going to be able to sleep tonight just from seeing that picture. i can't even imagine the depth of the nightmares of young children who actually see the movie.
The end-all Calvin.
i've noticed many bumper stickers/decals/etc. over the years all starring Calvin pissing on something and i thought, "Wouldn't it be a great idea if we could just have one Calvin that would sum up everything in one go?" i mean, what's the sense in buying one that has a picture of a Vikings logo and one with a Ford sign, when you can simply just buy this!
Yep. Pretty sure i'm a genius.
Forgot my camera :(
i saw a bumper sticker on a car that said "Runner" on it. Thats like having a shirt that says "Driver" on it. i also don't know why you'd even want that as a bumper sticker in the first place.
Where did you buy that anger?
i was looking up a guitar tab and found a great deal on where i could buy affordable Anger.
i never thought i'd see "Holy shit" in a real news article (from Google News, submitted by dontthink).
....because Spiderman used a knife, right? (From the BudK website...yep, it's real.)
Certainly an odd choice for who needs a good beheading...
Words of wisdom.
i told my little sister the other day that "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."
She asked me, "Why would you want to catch flies?"
"To start a fly mausoleum, of course!"
Gobots 2...err i mean, Transformers 2 script leaked! Below is the complete script of the movie! Enjoy!
A bunch of robots fight each other. There is much awesome.
i think they left out "Shia runs around, spazzing out and screaming like a 6 year old girl for no less than an hour and 45 minutes." ....but i guess that's implied.
FUBAR, an online dating site. In case you aren't familiar with the acronym, FUBAR stands for Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
i'm speechless, so i turn to Buggsy to get his opinion:
"PRIVATE BIRD! WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?"
Overheard at work.
"Hey are you still going to Mexico for your vacation?"
Buggsy, the word is given. -- zero.
There IS such a thing as a stupid question.
HA HA HA! Where do i even start? Who were they going to cast as the T-rex? Shaq maybe? He's a bit short, but will do in a pinch. Or perhaps Jurassic Park 4 won't have any dinosaurs in it. Maybe it'll be all about Jurassic Era plants...or maybe it'll have zombies or robots in it instead of dinos.
My apologies to any readers in Texas, as i say this tongue in cheek ;)
Am i the only one that thinks that Texas should secede so that we can finally nuke it? ;)
It's a pretty grim news day...layoffs, drugs, political scandal....and a beheading?! :O
The Brewers' new strategy:
What may surprise you is their decision to cut Mike Lamb. What might surprise you more is their use of cloning technology. Notice the man in red running past the man in blue. Now if only they would have cloned Sabathia before he left.
What do babies and dolts have in common?
Dolt For Your Baby? i don't get it...
In response to the latest episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
Behind the Times
This political cartoon appeared in the New York Post's page six Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2009. i'm still rechecking the date on this cartoon. 2009 doesn't seem possible. 1809 seems far more probable for this amount of ignorance and racial enmity.
Why don't you just call our president a porch monkey and be done with it you racist fuck?
...now we see the danger inherent in the predatory system of capitalism. It puts money first, not people. This news article comes in the wake of the bank CEOs spending millions the government bailout money lavishly on vacations, jets, and office redecorating. Way to spend the people's money the way the government intended you to. My gods...
Weather makes me horny....
...at least that's what these marketers are hoping. Notice that this was taken from the homepage of the Weather Channel.
Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one?
Sand. Buckets of sand. When i think to myself "credit score," images of pillars of sand formed by a bucket immediately jump into my head.
Once you go black...
Is that some sort of subtle racial comment, or simply a compliment?
i like the last item on the list there....i can picture the conversation:
Military Scientist: General, we have completed research on the bees as you requested. We have new missile technology.
General: Excellent. What does it do?
Military Scientist: The missiles launch from a giant hive and each warhead is coated in bee venom, due to the large number of people with bee allergies. Better yet, sir, the missiles will have a sort of stealth technology -- we will paint the missiles in black and yellow and people will think that the missiles are merely bees.
General: Most impressive. Deploy them immediately.
Me not know how use plurals! Me get job writing for Associated Press somehow! Editor not catch mistake in title!
Seriously. Amateur....unless maybe because of the economic downturn, they're trying to save money by not typing the letter S at the end of some letters...
First off, i love these because they make little sense. Secondly, i took this screenshot on 1/6/09 from Yahoo. Correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't Halloween back in October?
Ok, now that we have clarified that, let's look more closely at the picture, shall we? The Criminal Investigator is Batman...makes sense. Project Managers are clowns that don't do any actual work...good, good. The Pharmacy Technician hands death to people. The Medical Billing Specialist is a vampire, truly fitting for America's lucrative medical industry. i don't think i'm even going to touch the Social Worker or Psychologist pictures.....or maybe i will....my guess is that they meant to write "Marketer" instead of "Psychologist" under that picture. Moving on....the Accountant is a pirate, meaning they both like to hide money where no one (i.e. - the IRS) will find it.
i zoomed in on the Author and i discovered that is a soccer ball and he is wearing a soccer (football if you're from anywhere else in the world) jersey. Come on! That makes the least sense of any of these! Someone who makes a career out of being creative is not going to go as a soccer player....unless that's just his day job...in that case, well done, degrees.info.
You know, i actually thought about swimming before i saw that sign. Yes, there is a lake in that fog.
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