The Story of the Eurymedon Vase
9/10/60 – My team has finally decided on a location of our next dig, after Flanders threw a fit. It’s amazing how that guy got a job as lead researcher…I wonder who he paid off or how many dicks he sucked to get where he is today.
9/17/60 – After a week of digging, we have found only dirt. I complimented Flanders on his choice of digging site and later in the day a shovelful of dirt hit me in the back. He denies that he did it.
9/24/60 – Another week of digging and still nothing. I think that I’m going to…hold on, Diary, Flanders is jumping about excitedly and it looks like he wet himself.
10/16/60 – After mindnumbingly careful weeks of excavation, we have removed enough dirt to reach the inside of the house. We each picked a “room” of the house to unearth and search for artifacts.
10/17/60 – It rained for part of the day, so I could not work on excavating my find for very long. It does not appear to be a shield as I first thought (and hoped). It seems to be a vase or pitcher.
10/18/60 – I have carefully cleared away the dirt and dust covering one side of my find. The artwork looks like a depiction of an ancient warrior. The warrior has a bow and quiver of arrows and a Persian-style helmet – the warrior is certainly not Greek. Perhaps this was a vase made in tribute? The warrior’s scared (or is it taunting?) pose would contradict that, though. Tomorrow I shall uncover the other side and hopefully shed more light on the subject.
10/19/60 – Well…early this morning, I was able to safely dig out the entire vase and thus see the side opposing the Persian archer. I stared dumbfounded for at least a half an hour, not believing my eyes. I wondered if one of the others woke up before me and quickly painted the scene on the other side of the vase and returned it to where it was.
Arthos of Athens’ Diary. 4/8/445 B.C. (translated from Greek)
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