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Secret Service

Game Review

by zero


Secret Service is a FPS PS2/PC/360 game that came out in 2008. If nothing else, it is a lesson in frustration. There are not a lot of checkpoints in the missions, so if you die you have to replay much of the level over again. And with the sometimes insane difficulty, you better get used to it. However, at other times, the game is ultra-easy. There is no balance.

The first mission starts out with you as a member of the Secret Service in charge of guarding the president, who looks strangely like JFK. At high noon, there is an all out terrorist assault. There must have been 100 terrorist charging up to attack the president at the Lincoln Memorial in broad daylight. Strangely enough, all of them were wearing flannel. There must have been a sale....The terrorists would yell "Long live El Presidente!" as they made their way to assassinate the president. Odd.

Anyway, i dispatched so many terrorists (all armed with AK-47s, of course), i had accumulated more AK-47s than the Russian armory has.

The next mission wasn't any better. i was greeted by hordes of terrorist and then it dawned on me -- they're all clones. Yep. Every enemy (except for the three snipers i saw) was identical on every board. Board one has the flannel guys. Board two has guys in fatigues. They're all the same. i guess they truly are a faceless enemy. Even their vocals are the same....for every enemy. And, on top of that, they love to keep repeating the same sayings over and over again. i think i turned the sound off after i heard "It's a shooting gallery in here!" for the 80th time. Who made this game -- Treyarch?

The controls are terrible. They are incredibly stiff and there are few customization options to fix this. Also, aiming is difficult, which is somewhat of a crucial thing on a first person shooter. To make matters worse, there's no autoaim or aim assist of any kind. The game's awful controls is what caused my death most of the time.

The good news is that the mission/cinematic cutscenes are professionally done and look like they were ripped from Call of Duty 4, which makes some sense since Activision is the game's publisher.

The graphics aren't bad....until you realise it is not a PS1 game. It came out in 2008! Even though the graphics are poor, there is still a lot of slowdown. There isn't much window dressing either. No bullet holes, no environmental damage, nothing. Glass doesn't even break or get holes in it when you shoot it.

The AI isn't so great either. i once watched an AI walk off a 50 foot drop to his death.


Bottom Line


i hope you didn't buy this game. It might be a fun rental on a rainy Sunday if you're very, very bored.


Pros Cons
  • The music is ok.
  • Frustrating in many ways.
  • The briefing cutscenes look like they were stolen from Call of Duty 4. You may even think for a second you are playing CoD4 instead of this turd.
  • Terrible controls.
  • You got this for your birthday and didn't have to pay for it. You can rest easy with that knowledge. Hell, you may even be able to trick someone else into buying it from you.
  • Poor graphics.
  • Doesn't have bottomless pits in it.
  • Repetitive enemies and vocals.



2.5 out of 10




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