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he Essential Episode Guide to Enterprise



i always thought it would be the Romulans or the Klingons that destroyed the Federation. i was wrong. The Enemy was unforeseen.
The Enemy is pictured below.


Scott Bakula destroyed the Federation before it was even formed, and also is responsible for the death of Star Trek (for many years) as well :(   

Ok, in all fairness, i should point out that he is spectacular at acting "confused" or "perplexed."  In fact, when they make a movie about El Presidente Bush, i hope they cast Bakula as Bush.  i'd give the man an Academy Award for that.


Season 1

Broken Bow (1)

In this episode, Archer travels back in time as a black woman. Oh wait, no, that’s a different show. Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Broken Bow (2)


In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Fight or Flight

Archer dies in a horrific transporter accident. Wait, no. That was a fond daydream I had. In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Strange New World

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Who is really in command?

Unexpected

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Terra Nova

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Andorian Incident

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Breaking the Ice

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Civilization

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Fortunate Son

Shame on them for choosing the name of the immortal CCR song as the title of this shitfest. In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Cold Front

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Silent Enemy

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Dear Doctor

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Sleeping Dogs

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Shadows of P'Jem

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Shuttlepod One

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Fusion

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Rogue Planet

Not to be confused with the tepid Star Wars novel of the same name. In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Acquisition

What?! Ferengi? LIES! ALL LIES! In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Oasis

i thought this one would be about the band. i was wrong. i would rather have seen Liam’s ego staining this episode than Bakula’s acting diarrhea. In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Detained

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Vox Sola

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Fallen Hero

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Desert Crossing

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Two Days and Two Nights

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Shockwave (1)

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Season 2

Shockwave (2)

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Carbon Creek

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Minefield

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Dead Stop

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

A Night in Sickbay

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Marauders

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Seventh

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Communicator

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Singularity

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Vanishing Point

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Precious Cargo

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Catwalk

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Dawn

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Stigma

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Cease Fire

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Future Tense

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Canamar

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Crossing

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Judgment

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Horizon

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Breach

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Cogenitor

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Regeneration

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

First Flight

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Bounty

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Expanse

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Season 3

The Xindi

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Anomaly

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Extinction

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Rajiin

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Impulse

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Exile

Scott Bakula is exiled from the country.  Unfortunately , no.  Sorry to get your hopes up. In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Shipment

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Twilight

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

North Star

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Similitude

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Carpenter Street

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Chosen Realm

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Proving Ground

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Stratagem

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Harbinger

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Doctor's Orders

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Hatchery

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Azati Prime

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Damage

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Forgotten

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The predecessor to videogames' premier event. Maybe. In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Council

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Countdown

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Zero Hour

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Season 4

Storm Front (1)

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Storm Front (2)

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Home

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Borderland

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Cold Station 12

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Augments

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Forge

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Awakening

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Kir'Shara

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Daedalus

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Observer Effect

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Babel One

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

United

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

The Aenar

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Affliction

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Divergence

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Bound

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

In a Mirror, Darkly (1)

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

In a Mirror, Darkly (2)

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Demons

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

Terra Prime

In this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode.

These Are the Voyages ...

Riker?! Riker??? What the fuck? Riker has to consult a holodeck program to learn a lesson about lying. i always imagined an episode where we'd see the black and gold grid of the holodeck with Picard's voice saying over the comm "Ensign Archer, have you finished cleaning up the holodeck, yet?" Oh, in this episode, Bakula’s acting, or rather lack thereof, ruins an otherwise decent episode. It seems fitting that Riker has a hand in the destruction of Star Trek. What a dick.

Eww.


 

 

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