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The Essential Episode Guide to Babylon 5

 

SPOILER ALERT: There are spoilers throughout. You should have seen all of these episodes already anyway O_o

 

Season 5

It's time for a new season, and time for a new crew, too!

This new bearded alien looks like an alien from Star Trek with a skin disease.

And there's a new Centauri ambassador. He looks waxy.

 

And then there's the above Tan Man. i don't remember what episodes he was in...

Well this new smiling Narn has the right attitude!

 

...Ugh! Lochley really let herself go.

 

"No Compromises"

The station gets a new captain and it's no one other than Sheridan's first wife, Elizabeth Lochley. She is not the same person as his other first or second "first" wife from previous episodes (the one that was on the Icarus and the one that came back from Z'ha'Dum). So, in other words, Anna Sheridan (played by Boxleitner's real wife) was actually his second second wife. My apologies for any confusion.

So anyway, the station gets a new captain and we figure out why he divorced her -- she's a bitch!

Another newcomer to the station is a new telepath...

Fabio!

 

"The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari"

Londo nearly dies and has a flashback for 40 minutes of clips from the previous four seasons.

 

"The Paragon of Animals"

Sheridan and Delenn trick the Drazi into signing the Alliances' Declaration of Principles. Ah, sweet irony.

Meanwhile, a ranger escapes to the station carrying a vital message. He nearly dies in sickbay. He makes a miraculous recovery and is about to exit one of sickbay's doors, which no one had ever opened before. And it leads to Heaven!

Apparently one travels to Heaven via hyperspace.

 

"A View from the Gallery"

The station is attacked by Knights in Space (tm)! They attacked without cause or reason.

They entered and left B5 space through a plot gap and were never seen again.

 

"Learning Curve"

A group of thugs patriots decide to eliminate Zack. This episode really had the potential to be the best episode ever, but ultimately failed in the end. Coincidentally, the patriots failed in their plan.

 

"Strange Relations"

Bester gets bored and comes back to B5 to make trouble and see his favorite telepath, Fabio the Fabulous. Londo is nearly killed by a bomb, which Zack failed to uncover. Meanwhile, Corwin has trouble adjusting to his new duties...

Corwin gives Luxury Liner 658 permission to dock, but forgets to open the hangar doors until the sound of crunching metal reaches C&C.

 

"Secrets of the Soul"

This episode is all about telepaths. Might want to skip it. i'll save you some time and show the most exciting scene from the episode:

Yep. There it is.

 

"The Day of the Dead"

Due to budget cuts, the station administrators are forced to make ends meet by selling part of the station to the Brakiri. Rebo and Zooty visit the station and wow everyone with their hat tricks and puns. Apparently the Minbari love puns. ...and i thought they were an advanced culture...

Lochley's reaction to Rebo and Zooty. Interestingly enough, we shared the same exact expressions. Maybe she's not so bad after all.

 

"In the Kingdom of the Blind"

...the one-eyed man is king," to finish the quote. Does that refer to G'kar? Hmm...speaking of ol' one eye...

There is a lot of political intrigue at the Phallus Palace.

Meanwhile, the telepaths continue to bitch about everything under the sun to Sheridan.

 

"A Tragedy of Telepaths"

The telepaths become so annoying that Sheridan and Lochley are forced to admit that even Bester is more welcome on the station, and thus invite the Telepath Orkin Man to the station to clean out the infestation.

"Captain, it appears you have a colony of long-haired telepaths living on the station. Those are particularly bad ones...always chewing on the power cables."

 

And a character rejoins the cast...

"G'kar, it was terrible! The writers forgot about me in here since season 2!"

 

"Phoenix Rising"

Byron's people take hostages and there is a standoff between them and the Psi Cops and station security.

A compromise is reached.

 

"The Ragged Edge"

A crucial witness to the shipping attacks meets Garibaldi at the Drazi homeworld.

Garibaldi's drinking problem causes a slight problem...

i.e.- he drinks the witness under the table....and under the ground.

 

"The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father"

A Psi Cop goes insane and kills his roommate. He flees to Babylon 5....because......and Bester is sent to track him down because Bester hates B5 and everyone knows that. Oh, and even other Psi Cops hate Bester.

So why does Franklin wear chainmail?

 

"Meditations on the Abyss"

Ah, we get to see a good captain...the captain of the Maria. "Officially, White Star 27, but what kind of a name is that for a ship?" Thank you, thank you, thank you for someone finally saying that!

 

Also in this episode, Vir is promoted to Centauri Ambassador to Babylon 5. His first action is to declare war on the Drazi.

The Drazi in this picture gets decapitated.

 

"Darkness Ascending"

Garibaldi's drinking becomes more of a problem when he gets drunk and destroys the Zocalo.

58 people were killed and one citation for "Looking like Bruce Willis" was issued.

 

Lyta becomes more of a total bitch and starts giving people nightmares with her abilities.

Creeeeeeepy!

 

"And all my Dreams, Torn Asunder"

Sheridan, Delenn, and G'kar pull a prank on Londo, convincing him he was the one millionth visitor to B5. After the confetti rained down and the three sat there slapping their knees, with tears in their eyes (or "eye" for G'kar) in laughter, Londo knew it was only a trick.

Shortly after this scene, Londo retires to his quarters where he blogs about his mistreatment and also formally declares war on the Alliance.

(thank you to Buggsy on this review).

 

"Movements of Fire and Shadow"

Tensions flare and battles are fought. Vir hires Franklin to go undercover and investigate the Drazi homeworld because B5 doesn't need a chief medical officer and because a human will easily blend in with thousands of Drazi O_o

If Franklin got captured, i'm sure no one would be able to trace back where he came from. It obviously wouldn't be B5 since you'd have to be pretty stupid to put a logo right on your communicator/cell phone. Also, the only "evidence" they find is something a Drazi merchant called "Secret Shadow Technology," which he sold to them for 25 Drazi pesos.

Here, Franklin shows Lyta how to take a proper Myspace photo with their camera phone. "Don't look at the lens, and look very bored or slightly angry. Angsty is acceptable, too."

(a thank you goes to Buggsy for contributing on this review).

 

"The Fall of Centauri Prime"

Centauri Prime is under attack by a combined fleet. Londo turns to his new advisor...

"Greetings. My name is Satan, I mean, Jake."

Jake unveils his plan to combat the fleet...

He makes Londo grow to gigantic proportions! Giant Londo then smashes the fleet into tiny bits (as you can see from the smoking ruin of the ships in the picture). Centauri Prime is saved!

 

"The Wheel of Fire"

Garibaldi's drinking problem catches up with him and he's fired. He's obviously not from Wisconsin if he can't handle his liquor.

Meanwhile, Lyta is arrested for "Egregious acts of bitchiness." She won't come along peacefully, so Sheridan puts it another way.

"You're obviously not very good at this telepath thing if you didn't see this coming."

Lochley explains Lyta's rights with a vicious right hook.

 

"Objects in Motion"

Richard Dreyfuss visits the station and goes insane with rage when they don't roll out the red carpet for him.

"I'm Oscar winner Richard Dreyfuss, goddammit! Oh, they'll pay, they'll pay...IN BLOOD!"

 

Nothing much else happens in this episode except that G'kar, Garibaldi, and Lyta all leave the station, never to return.

 

"Objects at Rest"

Everybody of any importance who hasn't left B5 yet, does so in this episode. That means Zack and Corwin are pretty much the only ones on the show now....except for one badass Narn!

 

"Sleeping in Light"

Sheridan's 20 year timer goes off. Instead of going away peacefully into the light, he actually explodes.

Sheridan exploding inside of a White Star. It takes a team of ten janitors a full week to clean the blood off the bulkheads and upholstery.

Speaking of exploding, what happens to the Babylon station, you wonder?

They decide to blow it up because "we can't just leave it here -- it'd be a hazard to navigation!" So, genius, just what do you call that expanding debris cloud?



And I don't think Drall would be too happy about the debris that undoubtedly rained down on his planet? How about the radioactive fallout from the reactor core?

-comments on last episode are courtesy of Buggsy.

 


 

 

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