The Essential Episode Guide to Babylon 5
SPOILER ALERT: There are spoilers throughout. You should have seen all of these episodes already anyway O_o
This is the season where it really started getting interesting. Some new people joined the crew, such as...
...the pale Narn and...
...the ambiguous other Minbari-human hybrid...and...
...a Centauri...wait...i don't remember this....
...hey, what is going on here? What happened to your neck, Sherid...whoever you are in the back row?
...oh dear god, what is that thing! Sheridan, it's behind you! ...wow, is Bester's head really that big?
"Points of Departure"
Babylon 5 gets a new captain and he nearly re-ignites the Earth/Minbari war on his first day.
Delenn comes out of her cocoon!
...try to picture Delenn and Sheridan getting married now! ;)
"The Geometry of Shadows"
The Techno Mages show up and bring their techno music to the station. They are all spaced. Meanwhile, Ivanova leads an insurgence of Drazi against the new captain.
The Drazi assassins listen to their leader, but have a hard time understanding Ivanova through her thick Russian accent O_o
"A Distant Star"
An Explorer class ship visits B5, captained by a man in red and white cowboy boots. The name of the ship is Cortez, and in honor of its namesake, the crew is dedicated to thievery and genocide.
Red and white cowboy boots...i can't get past that.
A hundred year old ship comes to B5 containing a woman in cryogenic suspension and a demon made of electricity. Zack welcomes them to the station, but detains the woman for a few hours on suspicion of smuggling narcotics. Lt. Barclay from the Enterprise also visits Babylon 5 but leaves after he is kicked by the giant electro demon (yes, he actually does kick him. Watch the episode if you don't believe me).
Dwight Schultz (Lt. Broccoli) arrives on set before going to wardrobe.
Zack: "Welcome to Babylon 5. Identicard please. What, you don't have a pocket to put one in? Ok, that's alright."
Senator Palpatine pushes for equal representation for Naboo on Babylon 5.
Negotiations break down.
Earthforce Representative: It's not legal for Naboo to have a seat on the advisory board, Senator.
Palpy: i will make it legal.
Londo gets a divorce...and then decides that one isn't enough and gets another divorce. Meanwhile, Delenn has a bad hair day.
"A Race Through Dark Places"
Bester pursues his hobby of gunning down rogue telepaths at B5. Sheridan sells plasma to make rent payments to Earthforce. Ivanova shares a room with Sheridan and she faces a fate worse than death -- she has to listen to the captain's jokes. Just hearing them makes ME want to space myself.
That's my girl! :)
"The Coming of Shadows"
Sauron begins moving his forces! ...hmm...well, the Centauri emperor visits B5, but since he has no identicard and Zack has been burned in the past for allowing people (and demons) without identicards through, Zack turns him away.
Mad General Franklin and his private army of 25,000 soldiers show up on B5's doorstep. All 25,000 die valiantly fighting some aliens against some other aliens in some civil war on some planet that is somehow important.
"All Alone in the Night"
Captain Sheridan gets abducted by aliens.
Alien researcher: "I've never seen such tolerance or love of the anal probe before! He's out of control! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!"
After the 33rd anal probe, he still refuses to leave the alien craft. Eventually the aliens have to set their own ship to self-destruct to get rid of Sheridan.
"Acts of Sacrifice"
An alien comes [*wink*] aboard B5 and the only way he will sign the charter is if Earthforce will allow the alien chief to have sex with Babylon 5's legendary hermaphrodite.
Ivanova making sex with the Elder Chieftain and his Tleilaxu servant. Sheridan receives a message...
"WHAT? WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR A THING YOU'RE SAYING! THERE'S A WALL OF FANS BEHIND ME! WHAT? OH, WHY?..........because.
The president's chief physician is on the run and hides at Babylon 5. His crime: wanting to socialize medicine to allow for equal healthcare for all citizens in the Earth Alliance. He is declared a traitor and executed. Meanwhile, one of the janitors accidentally bumps Kosh's death ship with a mop and is incinerated.
Also, there were a few other casualties, as the beam opened up a hole in the hull of the station, thus sucking people into the vacuum of space.
"There All the Honor Lies"
Sheridan has a flashback of the Earth-Minbari war and kills a Minbari merchant.
"Your prices are outrageous! DIE, BONEHEAD!"
Garibaldi: "I think you better go to a counselor about your war flashbacks, John. Wow....Captain, you really did a job on that one."
Sheridan: "Ha, yeah, I did, didn't I?" (notice his smile)
"And Now for a Word"
The command staff of B5 is outraged when ISN airs an article showing the poor and homeless in Down Below in B5. But the humans aren't the only ones in the expose'.
Delenn is caught on camera hiding radiactive cylinders in her room.
"In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum"
Sheridan's questionable ethics forces Garibaldi to resign and Talia Winters is subjected to an unwilling scan of a murdering Shadow agent (no, really. i didn't make any of that up). And who's the stooge that does Sheridan's dirty work? ...
After he gets her mind-fucked, he cops a feel while he's at it.
Mr. Morden holds a picture of Anna Sheridan. No, it's not his wife, Laura Ingalls. Personally, i think his first first wife is way hotter than his second first wife. Sheridan must be a real ass if he can't even remember what his wife looks like. He probably can't even remember his own father.
DINOSAURS ATTACK THE STATION! ...actually that's not true....Dragons attacked the station, not dinosaurs.
And in the spirit of our 43rd "president," Sheridan decides to take a vacation in this time of crisis...
...further, in that same spirit, he corks his bat when he thinks no one is looking.
...don't recognize him? That's probably because he's a different actor than the one the shows up later. Either that, or Sheridan's been away from home so long he doesn't even remember what his father looks like. This makes sense since Sheridan can't even remember what his wife looks like.
"Confessions and Lamentations"
Let me save you an hour of your life. Some aliens on B5 contract a plague and all die. Nothing else happens.
Great. Lyta Alexander is back, and she's looking for someone's job to take. Also, she scans the crew to find the spy on B5. Interestingly, Zack and Corwin's results come back negative...as in zero brain activity. How odd. Talia and Ivanova share dinner, then Talia moves in...
Wow...and this was right after their bra-and-panties-only pillowfight on the bed.
"The Long, Twilight Struggle"
In a mixup of galactic proportions, the Narn homeworld gets blowed up due to an error at Earthforce UPS involving a mistaken shipment of asteroids instead of fruitbaskets.
Centauri warships, err giftships, deliver what they believe to be fruitbaskets to the citizens of Narn.
"Comes the Inquisitor"
...not the best choice for a title....i thought the inquisitor's name was "Comes" until about 41 minutes into the episode. Anyways, he's the Vorlons' most trusted questioner. He goes by the cute nickname of "Jack the Ripper." Yeah. The Vorlons recruited Jack the Ripper. They're supposed to be the good guys, right?
He looks like a real nice guy. How is it that the Shadows got Mark Twain? Was there a mixup in the script somewhere that no one caught?
Hmmm, did you ever notice that they always mention the Shadows having many friends (the Drakh, etc.) ...well, when they have Mark Twain as their pal, how can they not? The Vorlons have Jack the fucking Ripper as their spokesperson and they have NO friends. No big surprise there.
"The Fall of Night"
Kosh reveals his true identity!
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